“your train is no longer going where you’re going. To continue trying to reach your destination, please transfer here to the crappy 7 train by walking two blocks underground and then two blocks above ground in the cold air, ride it half way and then get back on the street to wait in the cold in a mile-long line to transfer to a bus that you’ve never even heard of. We’ve got agents scattered around the place but we won’t tell you shit. Ask a question and we’ll yell at you. Since nobody in New York is ever in a hurry, if you express your anxiety we’ll make fun of you, too. Thank you for riding with MTA New York Transit – we never fail to fail you. Please come again for our latest excuses for why things don’t work.”