Disneyland 2022

Disneyland 2022

For Thanksgiving this year, we went down to SoCal and spent three solid days at Disneyland. The trip closely mirrored our itinerary from three years ago, but the experience changed since the kids grew up quite a bit. Instead of booking a room directly across from the park entrance to accommodate those mandatory afternoon naps, we pulled consecutive 14-hour days including a 2-mile round trip hike from the hotel. Rather than waiting in line to receive awkward hugs from fake princesses, we queued for real rides alongside hardcore theme park fans.

And this was our trip:

Rides

Although the park itself hardly changed since our last visit, we were now able to attempt more mainstream attractions. That meant a lot of fun for the family, and even more waiting in line.

The good old Fast Pass, previously let guests wait in a virtual queue without being physically stuck in line, had evolved under capitalism to a new revenue stream for the parks. The current Lightning Lane system sold to willing payers the right to cut in line. Each person had the option to pay $30 a day for a bundle of mid-tier rides, and $20-25 each for the most popular ones. Because Lightning Lane users always had the right of way, the wait time for poor peasants in the standby queue could be rather unpredictable.

This setup was clearly good for business, as it sure sent us thinking. Dropping an extra $200 per day ($50 x 4 people) would easily save us 3-4 hours of waiting, and one can argue that time at Disneyland has a higher imputed value than that. However, it also seemed absurd to pay an extra 50% to the already-steep ticket price just to have priority over others. We decided out of principle to not give in to this cash grab, but bitterness did accumulate over the three days. As we watched people speed past us, cast members reminded us every few minutes that guests in the Lightning Lane always had the right of way. I wasn’t sure how much of that was passive-aggressive marketing, but the individuals making that announcement didn’t sound to have any fun saying it.

Radiator Springs Racers… we got in what was supposedly a 105-minute line, and we ended up waiting nearly 3 hours.
The joy of finally getting on Radiator Spring Racers… a fun 5-minute ride.
The Haunted Mansion with a cheesy and incoherent “holiday” makeover. Supposed to be a 45-minute wait and we were in line for 1.5 hours.
Jessie’s Critter Carousel
Grizzly River Run. Mad wait due to Lightning Lane line cutters again, but we had incredible fun here.
Matterhorn Bobsleds. A bit on the too exciting side for the kids.
My pick on the third day because I had never been on Storybook Lane Canal Boats… it was like a budget version of It’s A Small World.

Non-Disney Lands

I was vetoed by the kids on this three years ago, so this time I was glad to finally get the family to spend some quality time in Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. This far corner was designed to be the most immersive of all “lands”, and the rides (particularly Rise of the Resistance) were breathtaking, interactive engineering marvels.

That said, there was something nice about the days when Disneyland was all about Micky and friends. Sprinkling in Star Wars, Marvel, and to some extent Pixar was a reminder that the company had ballooned to a gigantic media conglomerate and severely limited the choices that artists and consumers had.

Alternative Attractions

It had never crossed my mind that any of this stuff would’ve been worth our time, but we gave a couple non-ride attractions a try and had a great time as a family. The best part was that, because most visitors also didn’t value these activities, we were able to enjoy them without much wait. It was a much-appreciated break between rides with ridiculous lines.

Davy Crockett’s Explorer Canoes, basically a low-budget version of Jungle Cruise that came with a serious arm workout. First time ever for our kids to row any type of boat. I never even knew this existed before but it was great.
Animation Academy, which hosted 10-minute drawing lessons in a lecture hall. How would attending a class be any fun? Well it was surprisingly satisfying to sketch out popular Disney characters with our own hands.
This was so much fun for the family, in fact, we did it 4 times in one afternoon!

Accessibility

Disney parks are some of the few places in the world where you could find a huge number of people on motorized scooters. In the vast majority of cases, people who used these scooters didn’t actually need them. Instead, they were merely lazy or out of shape, and really should try to get some exercise. We watched people hop on and off these things as they felt like it, used it to haul the family’s bags, joy-ride with multiple people, etc., and these vehicles were quite a hazard in a crowded place (which was every inch within Disneyland).

But the presence of these scooters was a testament to Disney’s commitment to provide an accessible environment to everyone. People with physical disabilities (far more often in a wheel chair being pushed by another person, instead of using a scooter) could get to most places in the parks with relative ease. Regardless of this convenience being abused by people without an actual need, it was nice to know that it was integral to the parks. Kudos to Disney for being considerate.

Both these riders were perfectly fit to walk, but chose to use ride-on toys instead and take up enough space for 10+ pedestrians. Someone with a real need was in a wheelchair on the left.

While the inside of the parks was incredible, the same cannot be said about anywhere in the public space to and from Disneyland. Harbor Boulevard, which thousands of Disneyland guests used on an hourly basis, was pathetically difficult for pedestrians. The sidewalk right on the parks’ perimeter, for example, was too narrow for the amount of foot traffic. Also, nearby intersections had multiple lanes of fast traffic, and pedestrian crosswalk signals were not programmed to switch on automatically. Despite there being a lot more people on foot than behind the wheel, the walkability on this road was totally lacking. Given Disney’s over-the-top thoughtfulness in guest experience, as well as its influence on the city of Anaheim, I could only assume that this was an intentional design to make staying at off-property hotels less desirable.

Zero reason why this sidewalk couldn’t be 3x wider for this crowd.

Food

We had quite a bit popcorn and churros.
Black Tap, a burger joint in Downtown Disney, served these ridiculously sized milkshakes. I do not endorse them, but we had a lot of fun (twice).
We had an appropriate Thanksgiving dinner by sharing a single turkey leg among the four of us.
A $6.25 Diet Coke was far from the proudest financial decisions I had made… but the spherical bottle was so cool though!

Perspectives

Disney parks are a unique vacation destination because a person is likely to visit repeatedly, go through virtually identical activities each time, and take away different experiences.

My first visit to Disneyland was over 30 years ago, with my family as part of a tour group. The park should have been some sort of dream-come-true given how well known but inaccessible it was to folks in Taiwan. In reality, however, the park itself did not leave much of an impression because it was just a slice of the mishmash of foreign stuff that overwhelmed us on the trip. We were there merely to check out another famous American landmark, but we had no clue how to properly enjoy it.

Fast forward to my mid-20s, Hong and I went to Disney World a couple times and it was the most fun I ever had. I immersed myself in the “Happiest Place on Earth” and fully appreciated the attention to detail the Imagineers had put into every corner. I walked through every souvenir store wanting multiple things on each shelf. Just needed a few more raises and I could afford it all, I thought to myself.

Another decade later, we started bringing our kids to Disneyland. First as a toddler. Then as preschoolers. Now as preteens. There was a lot of newfound joy as we saw the parks from their angle, and the attractions remained fun as ever. That said, I started noticing the staff smiling as a professional attire rather than an expression of feeling; the souvenirs as a reflection of our hyper-consumeristic society that converts resources to garbage in order to maximize shareholder profits; the irony of a low-wage army of workers performing a Christmas-themed parade on Thanksgiving night.

We had fun. A lot of it. However, my ability to appreciate these theme parks may have peaked a while ago, and now heavily rely on the children’s enjoyment to continue loving them. I used to envy season pass holders, like how I used to chug a large Frappuccino every day, and now just the thought of either makes me a uncomfortable. We do still look forward to visiting the Orlando Disney World with the kids at some point, though I hope it happens before I become a grumpy old man!

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