PF 2023 (5/10) – Bora Bora: Conrad Bora Bora Nui

We returned a couple days later to PPT, a dinky airport that was no fun to hangout at. Air Tahiti Nui, like Southwest Airlines, had a free-for-all seating policy. As such, close to 100% of the passengers had already formed a line 20 minutes prior to boarding. Just as we begrudgingly made our way to the very back of that line, we learned that families with children under 12 had priority boarding privilege. Compared to the standard practice in the US where the cutoff age is 2, that was such a nice surprise.

Getting priority boarding on our way to Bora Bora was priceless, because everyone wanted to sit on the left side of the plane. The flight itself was only 45 minutes, and the last 1/3 of it had excellent views of beautiful islands, including Bora Bora, to the left of the plane. It’s not like we hadn’t seen tons of photos or aerial drone footage already, but actually being above the turquoise colored water was amazing.

The Bora Bora airport (BOB) was so tiny that it was hardly more than a shared gateway for the six or so resorts here. An agent for the resort greeted us at the Conrad kiosk, put a lei around each of our necks, and led us to the transfer boat that had been waiting for us. Conrad charged each adult $150 in round-trip fare for the privilege to get to and from the resort, which seemed $150 overpriced, especially when compared to the airline’s free shuttle boat to the main island. The extra irony was that because most people used their respective resorts’ private boats (at least half of the passengers on our flight were going to Conrad), the free shuttle would have been quite empty and felt more exclusive.

Entering the Resort

As our boat sailed down the Bora Bora lagoon toward the resort, the question that ran through my head was – will I get tired of this view?

I had seen plenty of rivers, lakes, and oceans in my life, in all sorts of climates and weathers. I appreciated them all, but never felt any body of water calling for me to be part of it the same way Bora Bora made me feel. It was so calm, so clean, and so colorful that didn’t seem real.

The 30 minutes of boat ride ended before I was able to wake up from that awe. We cruised by a whole row of bungalows and arrived at the main dock of our home for the next four days – Conrad Bora Bora Nui. Uniformed receptionists already lined up on the pier, and two Polynesian-dressed staff members started playing ukulele when the boat began to dock.

Leaving our luggage behind, each group of guests stepped off the boat to a personal receptionist, who seated us at the lounge and offered us refreshing drinks. We got Francesca, a young European lady. After some brief, mostly pre-filled paperwork, she put the four of us in a golf cart, gave us a tour of the resort, and drove us to our bungalow. From there, she showed us around in the room, took a photo for the family on the deck, and magically made our luggage appear at the same time. We expected to be treated like kings and queens here, and this grand entrance did not disappoint.

Note: all but one of the receptionists were white, almost awkwardly so for such a tropical place. They were nowhere to be found after this initial encounter. The rest of the resort staff, especially in food service and housekeeping, were mostly darker-skinned Polynesians.

The Resort

Conrad Bora Bora Nui was located on the southwestern island of To’opua in the Bora Bora lagoon. It occupied the half-mile stretch of beach and the adjacent hills on the south of that island, offering a ton of space for the guests to spread out.

Aside from a grand central pool and the standard towel service, the resort featured a modest gym (large considering there were only 103 guest rooms), a kids club, some scheduled daily activities, and water activity gears. We intended to try a lot of stuff, including kayak and paddle board, but didn’t end up having time for much beyond snorkeling.

Because the resort was quite large, it placed a lot of bicycles for guests to get around. Also, anyone could call concierge for a lift in one of the resort’s fleet of golf carts – whether you want to get up the hill to the scenic lookout, or just get to and from the breakfast buffet. There were also a bunch of differently outfitted vehicles for the staff to transport room service, linen, and supplies. All this led to a rather bizarre phenomenon that we couldn’t get from point A to point B without passing by a vehicle that we had to sidestep for. In other words, there was a higher risk of collision walking around in this serene beachside paradise than in a busy city center like Cordoba. The kids started joking about how “Ia Orana”, the Tahitian word for hello that all resort employees said with a smile, actually meant “get out of the way”.

The expansiveness of the resort made jogging possible. Officially, there was a 1.5-mile path. When including all the jetties connecting the bungalows, a round trip covered nearly 3 miles. We woke up every morning to sunrise and went for a run. The humidity made it challenging, but the views were breathtaking.

People Watch

Remote, secluded resorts like Conrad Bora Bora Nui are often described as being great for getaway and privacy, but I beg to differ. It’s far easier to remain anonymous in an overcrowded city like Tokyo, but here: (1) there were only so many guest rooms on this island; you’re bound to run into the same parties repeatedly; (2) just about everyone came here to stay multiple nights, so you had time to see the same people at breakfast buffet, in the pool, and on walks; (3) guests had to announce their room numbers everywhere in the resort, and it was very clear who stayed on the hill and who had the presidential villa. Adding in perhaps a couple overheard conversations, you could get to know some complete strangers fairly easily.

There were two main camps of guests that we saw – those who spent most of the day posting on Instagram, and those who hadn’t cared about their appearance in a long time. A young Japanese couple were either sweetheart newlyweds, or he was a slave boyfriend photographer for a social media diva. A Vietnamese-American couple seemed to be fashion- and health-conscious professionals from LA, but we wondered why his gym-bro body had to be shuttled everywhere on a golf cart. One of the two $8,000 per night suites on property was occupied by a Russian family. An older white guy with high BMI and at least two chronic health conditions was too eager with his PDA with a far younger lady.

It was also impressive, though, to see an army of resort staff at all hours of the day. Besides the standard housekeeping and food services people, there was always a lady sweeping the white sand off the black walking path, or a few dudes repairing the stone tiles on the path. There was a medium-sized crew rebuilding a damaged bungalow seemingly without using any tools, and a couple engineers sailing a small boat under the bungalow next to ours to repair the piping. Some parts of the jetties seemed to require attention soon, too. I had never been in a hotel where so much maintenance was necessary. That was probably a reason why the room rates here were so high!

The Pool

As one would expect, the pool at this high-end resort was top notch. It had two levels, with the upper level being shallower and having a beach-like tapered slope, and the lower level being better for swimmers and connected to a swim-up bar. The water from the upper level flowed down to the lower level via an infinity edge, and then exited from the opposite end via another infinity edge. While it didn’t feel as grand or organically beautiful as Hilton Tahiti’s pool, this one was more fun. This resort also had way fewer guests than the Hilton, so this two-tiered awesomeness had felt from time to time like our very own private pool.

Maybe I should talk about the swim-up bar. I loved the idea of it. Since way before I could legally consume alcohol, I had wanted to sit half in the water and enjoy a colorful fruity beverage served to me by someone in a Hawaiian shirt. Bora Bora seemed like the perfect place to redeem that 30-year rain check. But I didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t entirely because this swim-up bar was mostly a watering hole for wrinkly hippos who I didn’t want to sit next to. Deep down, I think I just felt so relaxed in this environment that chilling lazily was the most fitting thing to do… anything that required effort was so unnecessary.

PF 2023

1. A French Polynesian Spring Break
2. Tahiti: Papeete and Faa’a
3. Tahiti: Hilton Tahiti Resort
4. Bora Bora: Expenses
5. Bora Bora: Conrad Bora Bora Nui
6. Bora Bora: The Bungalow
7. Bora Bora: Food at the Resort
8. Bora Bora: Vaitape
9. Bora Bora: Bora Bora Water World
10. Bora Bora: the Ocean